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Defining Your parenting style

Do you and your partner have different ideas about what parenting should look like? Maybe one of you prioritizes structure and discipline, while the other leans toward flexibility and exploration. You might find yourselves disagreeing about how to handle tantrums, screen time, or bedtime routines.

Parenting as a team requires alignment—not just on the logistics but on the values and principles you want to guide your family. As you define your parenting style, you may also notice moments where your own upbringing influences how you approach parenting. These moments can reveal opportunities for reparenting work—healing and redefining patterns from your own childhood to better align with the parent you want to be.


Are You and Your Partner Struggling to Define Your Parenting Style?

Therapy can help you and your partner uncover these influences, communicate effectively, and create a parenting style that reflects your shared values and goals. Together, you can build a stronger partnership and provide a consistent, nurturing environment for your children.



Parenting is deeply personal, shaped by our own experiences, beliefs, and hopes for our children. When two parents bring different perspectives to the table, it can lead to misunderstandings or conflict. Common challenges include:
  • Different approaches to discipline, such as deciding between consequences, positive reinforcement, or gentle parenting techniques.
  • Unaligned family values, like differing views on independence, responsibility, or emotional expression.
  • Disagreements about routines, including bedtime, mealtime, or screen time.
  • Cultural or generational differences, where one partner’s upbringing influences their expectations more strongly than the other’s.
  • Reactions tied to past experiences, where unresolved feelings from your own childhood resurface in parenting moments.

Defining Your Parenting Style Starts with Shared Values

These differences don’t mean you can’t create a cohesive parenting approach. They’re an opportunity to understand each other’s perspectives, define what’s most important to you as a family, and build a style that reflects your shared goals.

As you and your partner work to align your parenting approach, you may notice that certain moments trigger emotions or instincts tied to your own upbringing. These moments often reveal areas where reparenting work can help. Reparenting involves recognizing and healing patterns from your childhood that don’t align with the parent you want to be.


How Reparenting Fits into Defining Your Parenting Style

In couples therapy, reparenting work can look like:
  • Understanding Triggers Together: Exploring why certain parenting situations bring up strong emotions or reactions for each partner.
  • Communicating Needs and Patterns: Sharing how your upbringing influences your parenting instincts and working together to support each other’s growth.
  • Healing and Redefining Roles: Addressing unresolved feelings from your own childhood and building new patterns that reflect the values you want to instill in your children.
  • Supporting Each Other’s Journey: Reparenting is deeply personal, but working through it together in therapy can foster understanding, empathy, and alignment as a couple.

By addressing these patterns together, you can strengthen your partnership and create a parenting approach that feels intentional and unified.

How Couples Therapy Can Help You Define Your Parenting Style

At Harlowe Counseling, we help couples navigate the complexities of parenting by fostering open communication, clarifying family values, and building alignment. Our approach focuses on creating a parenting style that feels intentional, unified, and supportive of your children’s growth.

What Does Therapy Look Like?

Clarify Your Family Values: We’ll help you identify what matters most to both of you—whether it’s kindness, independence, education, or emotional well-being—and explore how those values can guide your parenting decisions.



Align on Discipline Strategies: Therapy provides a space to discuss your approaches to discipline, find common ground, and create a plan that works for both parents and your children.

Navigate Reparenting Work Together: As unresolved feelings or patterns from your childhood arise, therapy helps you explore and address them, creating space for growth and alignment.

Defining your parenting style isn’t about following a one-size-fits-all model—it’s about discovering what works for your unique family and aligning as partners in this journey.

Improve Communication: Learn tools to express your parenting concerns and preferences in a way that fosters understanding and collaboration.

Create a Unified Parenting Plan: We’ll help you develop routines, expectations, and strategies that reflect your shared vision for your family.

What Can You Expect from Therapy to define your parenting style?

Gain clarity on your family’s values and priorities.

Build alignment on discipline, routines, and parenting approaches.

Improve communication and reduce conflicts about parenting decisions.

Address triggers and patterns from your own upbringing.

Create a supportive and nurturing environment for your children.

Parenting is a shared journey, and with the right tools and support, you can build a cohesive approach that strengthens your partnership and supports your family’s well-being.

Have questions?

Browse the FAQs

What if my partner and I have completely different ideas about parenting?

What if I notice unresolved feelings from my own childhood affecting my parenting?

What if my partner doesn’t want to discipline in the same way I do?

What if I’m not sure what my parenting style even is?

Have questions?

Browse the FAQs

What if my partner and I have completely different ideas about parenting?

What if I notice unresolved feelings from my own childhood affecting my parenting?

What if my partner doesn’t want to discipline in the same way I do?

Many couples start from different perspectives, but therapy helps you explore your beliefs, find common ground, and create a parenting style that feels aligned with your shared values.

What if I’m not sure what my parenting style even is?

Have questions?

Browse the FAQs

What if my partner and I have completely different ideas about parenting?

What if I notice unresolved feelings from my own childhood affecting my parenting?

What if my partner doesn’t want to discipline in the same way I do?

This is a common experience and an important part of the reparenting process. Therapy provides a safe space to explore these feelings and redefine your approach to parenting in a way that feels healing and empowering.

What if I’m not sure what my parenting style even is?

Have questions?

Browse the FAQs

What if my partner and I have completely different ideas about parenting?

What if I notice unresolved feelings from my own childhood affecting my parenting?

What if my partner doesn’t want to discipline in the same way I do?

Discipline is a common area of disagreement, but therapy provides tools to find compromise and create strategies that work for both parents and children.

What if I’m not sure what my parenting style even is?

Have questions?

Browse the FAQs

What if my partner and I have completely different ideas about parenting?

What if I notice unresolved feelings from my own childhood affecting my parenting?

What if my partner doesn’t want to discipline in the same way I do?

What if I’m not sure what my parenting style even is?

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and it’s okay to feel unsure. Therapy helps you reflect on your values, experiences, and hopes for your family, providing clarity and direction.

Have questions?

Browse the FAQs

What if I’ve tried therapy before and it didn’t help?

What if I’ve always had anxiety and managed it on my own?

What if my anxiety isn’t “bad enough” to need therapy?

I’m not sure I have the time for therapy. How can I fit this into my schedule?

What if my anxiety feels too overwhelming for therapy to help?

There’s no such thing as “too much” for therapy. We specialize in helping women who feel consumed by anxiety, and we’ll meet you exactly where you are to help you take meaningful steps forward. No matter how overwhelming your anxiety feels, therapy can provide a path to relief and a more fulfilling life.

At Harlowe Counseling, we specialize in helping couples navigate the challenges of parenting partnerships. Our therapists are Gottman-informed and use evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to support couples in building alignment and connection.

What sets us apart is our focus on the unique dynamics of parenting as a team. Whether you’re navigating different perspectives, finding your family’s values, or addressing reparenting work, we’re here to help you create a parenting approach that feels intentional and united.













Why Choose Harlowe Counseling?

Ready to Define Your Parenting Style Together?

YYou don’t have to feel disconnected or uncertain about your parenting approach. Therapy can provide the support and tools you need to align your values, improve communication, and create a parenting style that works for your unique family.

Schedule your free consultation today to see how Harlowe Counseling can support you. There’s no obligation—just an opportunity to explore if we’re the right fit for your needs.